Chinese Writing: Cohesion Without Over-Formalizing

Introduction: Why Cohesion Matters—and Why Formality Can Hurt

When you sit down to write in Chinese—whether for an AP Chinese essay, a class assignment, or a personal statement—you want your message to be clear, coherent, and convincing. Cohesion is the invisible thread that ties your sentences and paragraphs together. But there’s a trap: many learners equate cohesion with excessive formality. The result? Essays that sound like instruction manuals or speeches from another century—grammatically correct but emotionally flat and hard to read.

This post is for the students who want both: writing that is cohesive and precise, yet alive and natural. We’ll explore practical techniques to build smooth transitions, vary sentence rhythm, choose the right level of register, and use cohesive devices without turning your composition into a litany of formal connectors. Expect examples, short exercises, a helpful table of cohesive devices, and realistic tips you can apply right away. Where it fits, I’ll mention how Sparkl’s personalized tutoring can support the process—if you want tailored one-on-one guidance to implement these strategies, it can be a game-changer.

Understanding the Balance: Cohesion vs. Formality

Cohesion in writing means that ideas flow logically and sentences connect in ways that guide the reader. Formality refers to the tone and the choice of words and structures. High cohesion doesn’t require a high degree of formality. In fact, over-formalizing often reduces readability:

• Formal connectors repeated mechanically (例如、此外、综上所述) can sound forced when used too often.
• Rigid sentence patterns and excessive nominalizations make text heavy and dull.
• Readers may understand each sentence but still feel disconnected from the writer’s voice.

The real skill is to make your piece feel unified while preserving a natural voice—one that matches the purpose (AP exam, narrative, persuasive essay) and the audience (examiners, teachers, or peers).

What ‘Natural’ Means in Chinese Writing

Natural Chinese is not the same as casual speech. It’s about economy, rhythm, and clarity. It often involves:

• Using a mix of short and long sentences.
• Choosing everyday vocabulary when it fits, and reserving formal words for specific academic moments.
• Employing conversational connectors and relative clauses to create flow without sounding stilted.

Principles for Cohesion Without Over-Formality

1. Use a Variety of Connectors—Not Just the Obvious Ones

Many students depend on a short list of formal connectors: 首先，其次，最后, 因此, 总之. These are useful, but when repeated they become predictable. Consider mixing in conversational or subtle linking devices:

• 那么／于是—good for cause-effect in a narrative or reflection.
• 而（且）—links contrasting ideas more compactly than 然而.
• 既然…就…／既…又…—compact ways to express joint conditions or qualities.
• 换句话说／也就是说—for paraphrase rather than overly formal summary.

These alternatives keep writing cohesive but less ceremonial.

2. Echo Key Words, Don’t Repeat Them

One simple cohesion trick is to echo concepts rather than repeat nouns verbatim. For example:

不自然写作常常使用太多书面语。书面语并非总是必须的。——Instead of repeating “书面语” each sentence, vary it: “书面表达”、“书面风格” or “这种语言” to create a sense of unity without redundancy.

3. Use Pronouns and Null Subjects Where Appropriate

Chinese allows omission of subjects when context is clear. This creates a conversational, fluid cadence. Overuse of full noun phrases makes sentences clunky. For instance:

Instead of: 学生在写作时应该注意学生的句子长度。Better: 学生在写作时应该注意句子长度。

4. Pay Attention to Sentence Rhythm

Alternate short, punchy sentences with longer, compound sentences. Short sentences emphasize; longer sentences explain or build nuance. A steady pattern of identical sentence lengths is a hallmark of rigid writing.

5. Let Logic Drive Structure, Not Fancy Words

A cohesive paragraph follows a clear logic: topic statement, supporting details, and a mini-conclusion or transition. Don’t force ornate vocabulary if a simple verb communicates your point better.

Practical Strategies and Examples

Strategy: Topic Sentences as Guiding Beacons

Begin paragraphs with a clear topic sentence. This signals to the reader what the paragraph will do—explain a cause, present an example, or argue a point. For AP essays, staying on-topic is crucial for scoring.

Example:

不恰当：许多人认为社交媒体有很多影响。——This is vague. Try:

改善：社交媒体对现代人注意力的影响尤其明显。——Now subsequent sentences can provide examples or evidence focused on attention.

Strategy: Constructive Transitions That Sound Human

Instead of lining up formal markers, connect sentences with causal verbs or adverbials that feel natural: 导致、使得、以致、从而. These often integrate better into a sentence than standalone linking phrases.

Example:

Formal-heavy: 他早起锻炼，因此他更有精力，因此他的学习效率提高了。

Natural: 他早起锻炼，精神更好了，从而学习效率也提升了。

Strategy: Use Examples and Mini-Stories

AP graders respond well to concrete examples that show, not tell. Brief anecdotes or hypotheticals make an argument vivid while maintaining cohesion—use pronouns and references to link the mini-story back to your thesis.

Strategy: Parallelism, Used Sparingly

Parallel sentence structures are powerful for lists or comparisons, but overuse turns writing into a formula. Try one strong parallel construction per paragraph instead of stretching it across the whole essay.

Table: Cohesive Devices — Formal vs. Natural Use

Micro Exercises You Can Do in 10 Minutes

Practice makes the difference. Try these quick drills during your study sessions.

• Echo Practice: Take a paragraph you wrote. Replace repeated nouns with synonyms or pronouns. Read aloud—if it sounds natural, you’re on the right track.
• Connector Swap: Identify five sentences using formal connectors. Rewrite them using alternative, more natural expressions from the table above.
• Rhythm Check: Mark the length of each sentence in a paragraph. If they’re all similar, rewrite two sentences—make one longer and one shorter.
• Mini-Anthology: Write three short examples (one sentence each) that illustrate a main point. Use different linking strategies for each example.

Example Rewrite — From Formal to Natural

Original (over-formal):

总之，科技的发展带来了许多变化。首先，通讯方式发生了改变；其次，人们的娱乐方式也发生了变化；最后，学习方式也因此受到了影响。

Rewritten (cohesive, natural):

科技的发展改变了我们的生活方式。比如说，通讯变得更快速，娱乐也更碎片化，而学习则越来越依赖在线资源。这些变化相互交织，使得我们需要新的适应能力。

Applying These Ideas to AP Chinese Tasks

AP Chinese asks for clarity, organization, and appropriate register. Examiners want evidence of language control and cultural understanding, not rhetorical fireworks. Here’s how to apply cohesion-without-formality to common AP task types:

Task: Persuasive Essay

Open with a clear thesis. Use concise topic sentences to introduce each reason. Support reasons with concrete examples and conclude each paragraph with a short wrap that ties it back to your thesis. Avoid long, ornate summary sentences—keep the final paragraph focused and reflective.

Task: Cultural Comparison or Synthesis

When comparing, use parallel structures sparingly and choose connective words that reflect nuance: 在…方面, 与此不同的是, 同时. Use short examples to show how the two items relate rather than exhaustive lists.

Task: Email or Letter (Real-World Task)

These require natural tone. Use conversational cohesion—感叹句, 简短建议, and closing phrases that are polite but not overly formal. Examiners look for authenticity: write as you would reasonably speak in a semi-formal context.

Revision Checklist: Quick Things to Fix Before Submitting

• Remove repetitive formal connectors. Replace with varied transitions.
• Check for unnecessary nominalizations—use verbs instead (e.g., 进行调查 → 调查).
• Balance sentence length—avoid a monotonous rhythm.
• Ensure every paragraph has a clear function and connection to the thesis.
• Read aloud to hear stilted or overly formal spots.

How Personalized Tutoring Helps (When It Fits)

Improving cohesion while keeping a natural voice is a skill that benefits from targeted feedback. Sparkl’s personalized tutoring offers 1-on-1 guidance and tailored study plans—matching exercises to your specific weaknesses, from connector overuse to awkward rhythm. Expert tutors can annotate drafts, suggest alternative phrasings in context, and use AI-driven insights to track improvement over time. If you’re preparing for AP Chinese, a short series of focused sessions can speed up your progress.

Long-Term Habits for Natural, Cohesive Chinese

Mastery takes time. Build these habits into your study routine:

• Read great contemporary Chinese writing—essays, blogs, and op-eds—to absorb natural transitions and rhythm.
• Keep a revision diary where you rework one paragraph per day using different cohesion techniques.
• Record yourself reading your writing aloud to catch stilted phrasing.
• Use peer review—ask classmates to point out where your writing sounds too formal or disconnected.

Example Habit Plan (Weekly)

Monday: Read one short op-ed and note five natural connectors. Tuesday: Write a 200-word paragraph implementing two of those connectors. Wednesday: Revise for rhythm. Thursday: Peer feedback. Friday: Tutor review or self-reflection.

Common Pitfalls and How to Fix Them

Pitfall: Over-Ambitious Vocabulary

Using a complex word occasionally is fine. But when high-level vocabulary replaces clarity, graders lose patience. Fix: replace with simpler verbs or show rather than label (use an example).

Pitfall: Mechanical Lists

Lists that always start with 首先、其次、最后 are predictable. Fix: integrate items into flowing sentences or use conversational alternatives that vary the rhythm.

Pitfall: Paragraphs Without Direction

Each paragraph should answer a mini-question. If you can’t state that question in one sentence, reorganize.

Putting It All Together: A Sample Paragraph

Here’s a short paragraph that demonstrates cohesion without over-formality:

随着信息技术的发展，我们获取信息的方式发生了根本变化。过去，人们依赖报纸和电视获取新闻；现在，手机和社交媒体更为常见。结果是信息传播速度大为提高，但与此同时，信息真伪也更加难以判断。要应对这种挑战，除了提升个人的信息甄别能力，社会层面的媒体素养教育也显得尤为重要。

Note how pronouns, concise connectors, and a mix of sentence lengths create flow; the language is clear, academic when needed, and not rigid.

Final Tips Before the Exam

• Practice timed writing, but leave 3–5 minutes to revise for cohesion and tone.
• Don’t aim for perfection in the first draft—focus on clear logic and natural phrasing, then polish.
• If you have access to tutoring, use a session to target your most common cohesion mistakes. Sparkl’s personalized tutoring can help identify patterns and provide exercises tailored to your needs.
• Stay calm. A clear mind produces clearer structure and more natural language.

Conclusion: Cohesion as Conversation

Cohesive Chinese writing should feel like a thoughtful conversation. The goal is to guide the reader gently from idea to idea, using varied devices that suit the tone and purpose of your piece. Avoid the temptation to pile on formal connectors—those are not the same as clarity. Use varied transitions, echo key concepts, play with sentence rhythm, and ground your points in concrete examples. With regular practice, and with focused help if you choose a personalized tutoring path, your writing will become both cohesive and compelling. Good luck—and enjoy the process of making your Chinese writing sound more like you.